Working In Retail With Social Anxiety

Fake Friends and why they are not worth it

Toxic and one sided friendships are quite possibly one of the worst things. I’ve had to deal with this throughout a lot of my life. A lot of my “friends” in high school were like this. I remember sitting on a table with them and being the only person not to be invited to a birthday party. It was a horrible feeling but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to be alone. Back then I preferred to have lots of fake friends than one or two real and genuine friends.

That is why I am here now to share my experiences and tell you why these people are not worth it.

Do you have a friend or a group of friends who never include you in anything ?

Do they never message you first or ask how you are?

Is it always you making the arrangements with them?

Do you go all out for occasions (like their birthdays) and they don’t bother?

If so, then you are probably dealing with a one sided and extremely toxic friendship.

These types of friendships can lead to years of trust issues and difficulty making friends. I know this from first hand experience. Until I know for sure, any friends that I have I assume they are “just putting up with me” until they don’t have an excuse to see me in anymore. In high school, my group of “friends” couldn’t avoid me. We went to the same school and were in the same classes.

However, once I left education everything changed. I never heard from any of them again. The most interaction I have with them is if I ever walk past them and we give each other a little nod of acknowledgement. And to be honest… I prefer it that way. My best friend even said she saw one of them in a coffee shop and he completely ignored her. Way to make it obvious? If only they had made it that obvious back in high school.. we wouldn’t have wasted so much of our time trying to maintain a pointless friendship that wasn’t going anywhere.

My list of friends is now very very small but I feel so much happier. You have no idea, what a positive effect on your life letting go of toxic and one sided friendships will have.

No more chasing people.

No more getting upset when you don’t get invited out with them.

No more feeling sick to your stomach when you see a picture of them all hanging out together without you.

No more constantly messaging them until you get a response.

No more feeling you are not a good enough friend. REMEMBER IT IS THEM WHO ARE THE LOUSY FRIENDS. NOT YOU!

No more getting lonely and depressed.

I now have the attitude that “If you don’t bother with me, then I won’t bother with you.” I started doing this properly the end of last year, and it has helped my depression so much. It has given me a chance to learn to love myself and enjoy my own company instead of chasing people who clearly don’t actually want to see me. Getting used to being on my own and enjoying my own company without getting lonely and depressed is a big step for me. Although I wish I had tried to achieve it sooner.

If these types of people only make you anxious and depressed then it is in your best interest to let them go. Friends should make you happy. They shouldn’t make you feel bad in any way, shape or form.

The friends that I have now are absolutely amazing. I love them so much and I know they won’t leave me. They message me most days and I do the same. Although I can go days or weeks without talking to them and still know that nothing has changed. It has taken me so long to find people like this but I am so glad I have. It is much better for my mental health and everyone around me. I know that we are still friends and always will be. They never make me feel left out when I see them, and they make me laugh and feel happy.

I’m no longer trying to maintain toxic friendships instead of spending time with the wonderful people who really love me.

Do you have a friend who makes you happy when you see them?

Do they always ask how you are and really care about what you have to say?

Do they attempt to make arrangements with you, and it’s not one sided?

Do they tell you they love you?

Do they give you a big hug when you see them?

Is it not awkward at all when you see them after weeks or months of no contact?

These are real friends. Message them or tell them immediately how much you appreciate them and their friendship. Arrange to meet up with them and give them the biggest hug. They are the ones who deserve it. Don’t bother with the people who don’t bother with you. That is my main piece of advice when it comes to achieving happiness. Find your friend who will never give up on you no matter what. They should continue to be there for you throughout your darkest times and not make it worse.

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” -Walter Winchell

“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” - Ed Cunningham

I hope you all enjoyed reading this, and it has helped you to realise if you are dealing with people like this. Please take my advice and leave… if it is easy to do so.

Thank you for reading and feel free to let me know your experiences with this in the comments. I would love to chat with you all.

Much love,

ColourfulHope (Ruth) xoxoxo